A divorce is one of the most stressful events in an individual’s life. Couples often experience mixed feelings of sadness, betrayal, depression, anger, and fear, forcing them to take certain actions, only to regret them at a later stage.
If you are heading for a divorce, the emotional turbulence during this period can be very upsetting, leaving you in no state to make decisions in favor of your case.
Here are a few effective tips that will help you get through this heartbreaking phase of life and arrive at a peaceful resolution with your soon-to-be ex-partner.
Things to Do:
1) Understand How the Divorce Process Works
Divorce is a confusing and stressful process; hence, it is wise to hire a skilled family lawyer who is a good fit for your situation and dedicated to the practice of Matrimonial and Family Law.
A divorce attorney can help you understand the type of divorce you are facing, how the marital property will be split, and the child custody and visitation rules.
Hire a neighborhood divorce lawyer who can educate you about the local laws & help you understand your rights and responsibilities, preventing you from taking any step that can weaken your case.
For instance, unlike other U.S. states, the Illinois divorce law requires all marital assets (including debts) to be divided equitably, not equally. Thus, if you live in Wheaton, IL and are wondering how the marital assets will be divided post divorce, only a Wheaton family law attorney can guide you with his/her knowledge about the latest laws.
2) Organize Yourself
If you wish to get a fair share during the settlement negotiations, it is critical that you get hold of the vital documents and information that will decide the outcome of your case.
This is the time to get your ducks in a row. Make copies and organize important household documents, namely tax returns, bank statements, life insurance policies, credit card statements, house and automobile titles, and mortgage documents.
Determine who is entitled to benefit from your will, life insurance, and/or retirement account. If your soon-to-be ex-spouse is the beneficiary, it is wise to consult your attorney and make the necessary changes.
Be aware of the marital assets, the household budget and expenses, your spouse’s income, and family debts. All this information will come in handy when splitting the marital property and debts.
3) Keep an Eye on Your Kids
Regardless of the grounds for your divorce, children tend to feel responsible for the family split, causing them to feel upset and insecure. Be conscious of and manage your child’s behavior, and be open and honest about the situation. Assure him/her that the split was caused by a few grown-up issues.
Encourage your child to express his/her feelings and discuss the situation, and answer his/her questions patiently. Telling your child that you and the other parent will always love him/her will help him/her feel secure.
4) Focus on Self-Care
Going through a divorce and handling the paperwork related to it can be stressful, causing you to ignore your wellbeing.
Focusing on your personal health will help you sail through this tough period and make sensible decisions for yourself and your kids. Eat healthy food, exercise regularly, and spend time with family and friends to lighten your mood.
Resist the urge of living in the past and give yourself time to heal. Plan a few fun activities, such as nature walks or picnics with your kids, enabling you to spend quality time with them and make enjoyable memories for the future.
Things to Avoid:
1) Letting Your Emotions Dictate Your Actions
A divorce can trigger a number of negative emotions, often causing couples to act in an aggressive or inappropriate manner. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you as it may not only affect your health, but also sabotage your legal proceedings.
An effective talk therapy can go a long way in helping you manage your emotions. Talk to a certified therapist who can help you through this trying period, promoting positive feelings of confidence and high self-esteem.
Avoid making hasty decisions during this period. Instead, be patient and rely on your divorce attorney and financial advisor to guide you through the separation and settlement process.
2) Hiding Assets
Hiding assets in a divorce process are unfair and illegal. Moreover, squirreling away small amounts of money during the divorce process can land you in big trouble.
The recent advancements in digital technology and the latest computer software have made it extremely easy for anyone to track hidden assets through emails, the browsing history, tax return statements, and social media accounts.
Hiding assets can attract heavy financial penalties and permanently dent your credibility, thereby affecting the outcomes of the legal proceedings in your partner’s favor.
3) Involving the Family
After you have dropped a hint of the divorce, it is natural for the closest people in your life to express their opinions and concerns. However, it is important to keep your family out of the divorce process.
Without a doubt, you need their help and support at this time; however, avoid seeking their advice and opinions as it may further complicate the situation and fester resentment, hurting everyone in the long run.
4) Getting Active on Social Media
In this digital age, posting life events and feelings on social media has become the norm. Numerous couples heading for a divorce use these platforms carelessly to disparage their spouses or vent their feelings.
Sharing too many details about your divorce or bad-mouthing your partner on social media platforms can ruin your image, further spoil your relationship with your soon-to-be ex, and be used against you during the court proceedings.
For instance, talking badly about your partner on social media could create tension between you, badly affecting the divorce negotiations pertaining to child support and marital assets.
Therefore, it is wise to refrain from using social media during the divorce process.
Divorce can be nerve-racking. However, it pays to keep your head on your shoulders, know your options, and make informed decisions, helping you get through the process as fast as possible.
Use the information and tips shared in this post to know your responsibilities, protect your legal rights, and stay sane as you turn a new leaf.