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When 2 incomes become 1
9/15/2008 |
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When 2 incomes become 1
After divorce and a decline in household money, lock up credit cards, re-evaluate spending habits
• Published September 15, 2008
When Dee Coleman's marriage ended, she was confronted with a very tough reality: She couldn't survive on what she was making.
"Strange now that when I look back, the emotional pain has long healed. But I still remember shaking in my boots when it dawned on me that to I needed to make some drastic changes, if I wanted to raise my 11-year old daughter, and at the same time, not lose our home," Coleman said.
Going from two incomes to one often is a jarring taste of reality. |
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The dos & dont's of divorce
5/26/2008 |
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Debbie Salamone |
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The dos & don'ts of divorce
Think you can just file some papers and move on to single life? Well, think again.
Debbie Salamone | Sentinel Staff Writer
May 26, 2008
You've had it. She's a cheating witch. He's a lazy bum. It's time for a divorce.
And it's going to be an all-out war.
Stop. Don't make the common mistakes that angry and hurt couples often do. Take some advice from Central Florida divorce lawyers and a judge who have seen it all. You still have time to learn from these stories.
Who gets the pets?
Pets are considered property but often require special consideration.
If you let a judge decide ownership, anything can happen. Consider these rulings from Orange Circuit Judge Bob Evans, who handles the county's most contested divorces.
*A couple feuding over a pair of lovebirds were given one bird each. The wife exclaimed, "Oh, no! I'd rather he get the birds than split them up." Evans gave her both birds. "I knew then who should get the birds," he explained.
*A couple couldn't agree over who should get the dog. Evans ordered them to stand 100 yards apart in a public park and custody was granted to whomever the dog ran to first. "I didn't care if they covered themselves in steak and bologna," he said. "I thought it was the only fair thing to let the dog decide."
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Honey, I want a divorce! How to have the talk
5/21/2008 |
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Dr. Gail Saltz |
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Honey, I want a divorce! How to have the talk
How to make this tough conversation as painless as possible — for you both
By Dr. Gail Saltz
TODAYShow.com contributor
updated 3:59 p.m. CT, Wed., May. 21, 2008
There are some conversations that are hard by their very nature. Telling your spouse you want a divorce is certainly at the top of the list.
Since marriage is one of life's central relationships, seeking a divorce feels like a tremendous failure. And it is tough to initiate something you know will have great emotional, practical and financial fallout for yourself (and your children, if you have them).
It’s like stepping into the abyss. What’s ahead? You know how bad your marriage has been, but you don’t know what your life will be like post-divorce.
The assumption is that it will be better. Still, you don’t know. There is no crystal ball and no guarantee. Might your life be worse? Yes. It will certainly be different. |
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California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban
5/16/2008 |
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Maura Dolan |
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California Supreme Court overturns gay marriage ban
In a 4-3 decision, the justices rule that people have a fundamental 'right to marry' the person of their choice and that gender restrictions violate the state Constitution's equal protection guarantee
By Maura Dolan, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
May 16, 2008
SAN FRANCISCO -- -- The California Supreme Court struck down the state's ban on same-sex marriage Thursday in a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation.
The 4-3 ruling declared that the state Constitution protects a fundamental "right to marry" that extends equally to same-sex couples. It tossed a highly emotional issue into the election year while opening the way for tens of thousands of gay people to wed in California, starting as early as mid-June.
The majority opinion, by Chief Justice Ronald M. George, declared that any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation will from this point on be constitutionally suspect in California in the same way as laws that discriminate by race or gender, making the state's high court the first in the nation to adopt such a stringent standard.
The decision was a bold surprise from a moderately conservative, Republican-dominated court that legal scholars have long dubbed "cautious," and experts said it was likely to influence other courts around the country. |
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Divorce may harm childs future relationships
5/6/2008 |
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Alice DeBonis |
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Divorce may harm childs future relationships
Alice DeBonis, Jambar Contributor
The United States National Vital Statistic Reports that there were over 3 million divorces in 2007, and studies have found that the effect of parental divorce on young adults may harm any future intimate relationships they encounter.
For example, in the 2001 Journal of Marriage and Family, Dr. Susan Jacquet and Dr. Catherine Surra studied over 200 couples and found that young adults from divorced parents showed less trust in their romantic partners, had lower levels of commitment or dedication toward them, and had greater difficulty in maintaining friendships as compared to adults whose parents remained married.
However, according to a 2004 Huntington College study, divorce may not be as emotionally detrimental as previously believed.
The goal of the study was to determine if the level of intimacy of college students whose parents were divorced was different than those whose parents remained married. The results showed that there was no major difference between the two, and that those whose parents were divorced may not be as profoundly affected in intimate relationships as past studies have claimed. |
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Financial Survival for Divorced Women
4/26/2008 |
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Samantha Chang |
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Financial Survival for Divorced Women
Keep divorce from crushing your standard of living
According to recent statistics, divorce rates in the United States have dipped in recent years after peaking in the 1970s, but the rates of failed marriages still remain fairly high. Divorce isn’t just an emotional breakup; it involves serious financial issues that can have long-term consequences on a woman’s economic stability.
A woman’s standard of living plunges by at least 30% after a divorce, according to recent studies, so it’s important for divorcées to get a grip on their finances both during and after a divorce if she wants to survive the process intact.
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New look at kid's divorce trauma
4/23/2008 |
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Bonnie Miller Rubin |
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New look at kids' divorce trauma
Study finds impact on behavior isn't as bad as thought
By Bonnie Miller Rubin | Tribune reporter
11:16 PM CDT, April 23, 2008
For years, social scientists have believed that children of divorce have more behavior problems than kids growing up in two-parent homes.
But the impact may not be as damaging as previously believed, according to new research to be released Friday.
Instead of comparing these youngsters to those with intact families—the usual methodology—a more accurate assessment would be to evaluate them before and after the divorce, said Alan Li of the RAND Corporation.
Many of the problems could be a result of pre-existing characteristics that would be a factor in emotional and behavioral issues even if parents had remained married, said Li, who will present his findings this weekend at the annual conference of the Council on Contemporary Families at the University of Illinois at Chicago.
"Many studies end up comparing apples and oranges," Li said. "Personality, parenting strategies and detailed aspects of a person's biography all affect children, but researchers haven't been able to measure many of these constructs."
In addition, the report said, many earlier studies failed to take into account differences among families, such as parents' socioeconomic status and education, which can affect a youngster's well-being, whether a couple stay together or not. |
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eDivvyup
4/15/2008 |
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eDivvyup |
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New Online Auction eDivvyup Offers Alternative to Infighting After Death, Divorce
eDivvyup is a revolutionary new website built on an online auction platform that is designed specifically for the equitable distribution of personal property. eDivvyup enables the family to list all personal property on their own personal auction page, elect an Estate Manager who will invite family members to participate in the auction and then begin the bidding process. eDivvyup users can relieve the stress and emotional turmoil normally associated with dividing up the personal property of a beloved family member.
Austin, Texas (PRWEB) April 7, 2008 -- Families mourning the loss of a beloved parent or grandparent are often left with the difficult task of figuring out the division and distribution of the personal property left behind. While such a process can be stressful and often causes infighting among the family members, a new website is offering an alternative to this painful process.
eDivvyup is a revolutionary new website built on an online auction platform that is designed specifically for the equitable distribution of personal property. Personal items left behind by a loved one generally are not accounted for in a standard will. As a result, family members often end up fighting over who should receive precious items, causing lasting damage to important relationships.
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Alienation of Affections and Criminal Conversation Explains North Carolina Divorce Lawyer
3/31/2008 |
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Carole Gailor |
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Alienation of Affections and Criminal Conversation Explains North Carolina Divorce Lawyer
March 31, 2008
It is unfortunate, but true that many divorces are caused by the the infidelity of a husband or wife. North Carolina is one of only a few states that still recognize legal claims that allow an injured spouse to sue for money damages based on allegations of harm to the marital relationship caused by a third party. These claims are for “alienation of affections” and “criminal conversation.” In order to succeed in an action for alienation of affections, the innocent spouse must prove that:
1. A marriage existed between the plaintiff and his/or her spouse;
2. The marriage entailed love and affection between the spouses;
3. The love and affection was destroyed;
4. The defendant’s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection; and
5. The plaintiff suffered injury and damages.
The injured spouse need not show that the defendant intended to destroy the marital relationship, nor that the defendant’s conduct was the sole cause of the loss of affection. The injured spouse just has to show that the defendant was the controlling or main cause of the loss of affection between the spouses.
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Minimize the impact of divorce on your credit
2/24/2008 |
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Marshall Loeb |
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Minimize the impact of divorce on your credit
NEW YORK - If you're planning to file for divorce this year or are already splitting your assets with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, your credit is likely to take a hit.
Many people don't realize that lenders do not honor court decrees that assign payment responsibilities for joint loans. The mistaken assumption that you're off the hook for financial obligations can result in a series of missed payments that may trash your credit score for years.
This needn't happen if you safeguard your credit before you file for divorce. Consider these tips from John Ulzheimer, author of "You're Nothing but a Number" and an expert at Credit.com, a consumer personal finance site.
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States Challenge Traditional Alimony
2/15/2008 |
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Tresa Baldas |
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States Challenge Traditional Alimony
Tresa Baldas
Legislation and lawsuits challenging the traditional notions of alimony -- such as how long it should be paid and by whom -- are popping up across the nation.
At issue is whether judges have too much discretion in deciding how much alimony should be paid, for how long, and whether they unfairly favor ex-wives.
In Massachusetts, a bill is pending before the Legislature that would put limits on how long alimony has to be paid and carve out a provision that would prevent a second wife's income from being used to pay alimony to the first wife.
Also, the Massachusetts and Boston bar associations recently created a Joint Alimony Task Force, which plans to recommend new standards for reasonableness of amount and duration of alimony.
In Nevada, lawmakers are considering a bill that would give judges specific rules to follow when determining alimony. Current state law does not provide any guidelines, making alimony discretionary. The legislation is a response to the recent high-profile murder case of millionaire Darren Mack, who will be sentenced this month for killing his wife and shooting a judge who ordered him to pay $10,000 a month in alimony payments to his wife.
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New Matrimonial Tactic: Hire Hot PD to Test Spouse’s Loyalty
2/14/2008 |
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Martha Neil |
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New Matrimonial Tactic: Hire Hot PD to Test Spouse’s Loyalty
Posted Feb 13, 2008, 11:22 am CST
By Martha Neil
Business is reportedly brisk at private detective agencies in Britain that are offering a popular new service. For those who doubt a spouse's adherence to his or her marriage vows, an attractive private detective can be hired to test the loved one's loyalty by flirting with the suspect in public settings.
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Judges Increasingly Asked to Weigh Religion in Custody Battles
2/14/2008 |
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Debra Cassens Weiss |
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Judges Increasingly Asked to Weigh Religion in Custody Battles
Posted Feb 13, 2008, 12:45 pm CST
By Debra Cassens Weiss
Child custody disputes involving religion are increasing, creating quandaries for judges who don’t want to favor one faith over another.
Ronald William Nelson, chair of the ABA Family Law Section’s Custody Committee, told the New York Times the increase correlates with a hike in contentious custody battles. Parents involved in such disputes are “looking for reasons to justify their own actions,” he told the newspaper. He also cited increased interfaith marriages and religious conversions after divorce as reasons for the uptick.
Judges are reluctant to weigh the merits of one religion against another for fear they will violate the required separation of church and state. Such disputes are sometimes sent to mediation. But some courts have waded into the disputes. The Times highlights these cases:
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5 Tips to Protect your Retirement Assets in a Divorce
2/13/2008 |
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Kathryn Vasel |
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Five Tips to Protect Your Retirement Assets in a Divorce
Kathryn Vasel
FOXBusiness
When it comes to splitting assets during a divorce, the house and retirement funds are usually the biggest. As the housing market tumbles, retirement assets are taking center stage.
But deciding who gets what and how much when the Golden Years roll around can be tricky.
“That old saying that 'the devil is in the details' is especially true when it comes to dividing up retirement assets in a divorce,” said Martin Shenkman, a lawyer in New Jersey. “After all the trauma of a divorce, people don’t want to do the detailed paperwork, but you need to."
Retirement funds accrued during the marriage, are considered marital assets and are hard to get excluded from a divorce settlement. "It is generally up to the person claiming a different designation to prove it in court," said Maury Beaulier, an attorney based in Minneapolis, Minn.
What Your Ex-Spouse is Entitled to
Your marriage could have ended more than 20 years ago, but your ex-spouse may still be entitled to part of your retirement.
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Safeguard your credit in divorce
1/29/2008 |
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Marshall Loeb |
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Safeguard your credit in divorce
By MARSHALL LOEB
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
If you're planning to file for divorce this year or are already splitting your assets with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, your credit is likely to take a hit.
Many people don't realize lenders do not honor court decrees that assign payment responsibilities for joint loans. The mistaken assumption that you're off the hook for financial obligations can result in a series of missed payments that may trash your credit score for years.
This needn't happen if you safeguard your credit before you file for divorce. Consider these tips from John Ulzheimer, author of "You're Nothing but a Number" and an expert at Credit.com, a consumer personal-finance site.
If you have joint accounts with your spouse, do your best to turn them into individual accounts so it will be easier for the divorce court to split up your financial responsibilities. To do that you will need your spouse's permission, which means you're going to have to let the cat out of the bag. But taking these steps now can save you years of credit woes later.
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Helping your child cope with divorce
1/21/2008 |
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Skipper L. Harvey, M.A. |
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In today's world, it comes as no surprise that each year thousands of children will experience the impact of divorce. What is a surprise is that recent research suggests that the parents' divorce is not the most harmful to children; it's actually the conflict between divorcing parents that can cause the most harm.
One study found that parents who engaged in bitter arguments over divorce-related issues had children who were significantly more disturbed (based on standard measures of maladjustment) than children whose parents had amicable divorces. In many divorce relationships, ex-spouses find that it's impossible to stop making insulting comments, raising their voice in anger or reacting with physical aggression. It's important to realize that when these situations occur in front of your child you are forcing your child to become a part of the situation.
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How to Increase your Chance of Getting Custody of Your Child
12/17/2007 |
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Gerry Restrivera |
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How to Increase Your Chance of Getting Custody of Your Child
There are unavoidable circumstances in a marriage and sometimes it leads to separation and divorce. If you have children, the divorce will be followed by child custody issues and of course as a parent you want to get a favorable child custody arrangements. There are things you can do to increase your chance of getting custody of your child.
There are different scenarios and custody arrangements; there are cases that both parents are granted joint custody of the child and in some cases a parent may insist on sole custody of the child. Here are some tips to increase your chance of getting custody of your child.
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