NEW YORK — If celebrity love lives were morality tales, the prevailing lesson would be: Don't forget the prenup. It's a message that should resonate with a wide swath of the population. With so many more blended families and dual-income households, family finances have become more complicated across the board.
A prenuptial agreement can lessen the potential for a messy divorce by spelling out each party's rights to assets brought into the marriage, as well as those acquired as a couple. "What you're doing is deciding exactly how you're going to treat your assets, rather than having state laws decide for you," said Gary Nickelson, president of the Chicago-based American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Coming to terms with whether you need a prenup is only a first step, however. You and your partner then need to lay bare your finances and voice expectations for what could be an ugly scenario. Finally, you'll need to find an attorney to put it all in writing. As uncomfortable as it sounds, it's a safeguard worth considering for anyone with significant assets.
About 40 percent of marriages in recent times ended in divorce, although the figure varies depending on age, income and education level, according to Betsey Stevenson, who specializes in family and public policy at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business. Her estimates are based on Census data. So before you join the seasonal wave of couples taking their vows, ask whether a prenup makes sense.
On the day a couple promises to love each other for eternity, the future appears bright and idyllic; the reality that one or the other might someday want out seems remote.
Still, national statistics indicate some 40 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Even with the recent tough economy, the divorce rate has remained relatively steady. The notion that couples will simply endure misery rather than go their separate ways is not what several local attorneys say they have witnessed. Couples may delay the decision because of its economic consequences, or they may opt to share living quarters longer than they might wish. Ridgefield lawyer Norman Voog said the economy has slowed the leap from marital malaise to divorce in some couples, particularly those who have children and whose discontent is at least manageable. The notion of greener pastures is tempered by fears of less income or having to move, so they figure they stay together until the economic tide shifts, he said.
"Starting a divorce, candidly, is like jumping off the cliff," said Voog, who witnessed about a 35 percent slowdown in his divorce business this year. "It's hard to get back up the cliff once you jump off. So if people are debating whether they want to stay in a marriage, they are less likely to jump in this kind of economic climate than they would perhaps in other times. But if a couple thinks they need to break up now, local lawyers say they will find ways to make it happen.
CLAYTON, Mo. (AP) — Uncertain economic times are leading to an uneasy truce in the War of the Roses, as divorcing couples try to save some money — and perhaps some dignity.
With retirement accounts in tatters and homes losing value, many couples are dividing debt, not assets. The last thing they want is a mountain of legal bills to add to it.
“They don’t want battles in court,” said St. Charles lawyer Rebecca Magruder.
“We’re seeing more people being more realistic about what they will get, more willing to settle,” said Alisse Camazine, a Clayton divorce lawyer.
If a married couple are barely covering their current household expenses, the same income is not going to support two separate households.
“The judge or attorneys cannot wave a magic wand to solve financial problems,” said Alan Freed, a family law attorney in Clayton who specializes in mediation.
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Breaking up is hard to do -- perhaps even more so during a recession.
Just ask Sallie Frederick of Darien, Connecticut. She and her husband of 15 years are divorcing, but they both live in the house they can't sell because of the sour state of the economy.
"My husband lives in the guest room, and he comes home on Wednesday nights early to have dinner with the kids, and the other nights he comes home late to give me my space, so it's, it's not perfect," she told CNN's "Your $$$$$" program. "It's been difficult."
The stress of the country's economic meltdown is taking its toll on marriages.
And while there is no definitive evidence that says people seek divorce more or less frequently during an economic slump, what is clear is that couples in marital turmoil are feeling extra stress because of the economy.
Some, like the Fredericks, can't leave their current situation because the financial costs are too great and because it's too difficult to sell their house
Others may jump into divorce because of the economic strain or because divorce during hard times could be weirdly profitable.
The dos & don'ts of divorce
Think you can just file some papers and move on to single life? Well, think again.
Debbie Salamone | Sentinel Staff Writer
May 26, 2008
You've had it. She's a cheating witch. He's a lazy bum. It's time for a divorce.
And it's going to be an all-out war.
Stop. Don't make the common mistakes that angry and hurt couples often do. Take some advice from Central Florida divorce lawyers and a judge who have seen it all. You still have time to learn from these stories.
Who gets the pets?
Pets are considered property but often require special consideration.
If you let a judge decide ownership, anything can happen. Consider these rulings from Orange Circuit Judge Bob Evans, who handles the county's most contested divorces.
*A couple feuding over a pair of lovebirds were given one bird each. The wife exclaimed, "Oh, no! I'd rather he get the birds than split them up." Evans gave her both birds. "I knew then who should get the birds," he explained.
*A couple couldn't agree over who should get the dog. Evans ordered them to stand 100 yards apart in a public park and custody was granted to whomever the dog ran to first. "I didn't care if they covered themselves in steak and bologna," he said. "I thought it was the only fair thing to let the dog decide."
Honey, I want a divorce! How to have the talk
How to make this tough conversation as painless as possible — for you both
By Dr. Gail Saltz
TODAYShow.com contributor
updated 3:59 p.m. CT, Wed., May. 21, 2008
There are some conversations that are hard by their very nature. Telling your spouse you want a divorce is certainly at the top of the list.
Since marriage is one of life's central relationships, seeking a divorce feels like a tremendous failure. And it is tough to initiate something you know will have great emotional, practical and financial fallout for yourself (and your children, if you have them).
It’s like stepping into the abyss. What’s ahead? You know how bad your marriage has been, but you don’t know what your life will be like post-divorce.
The assumption is that it will be better. Still, you don’t know. There is no crystal ball and no guarantee. Might your life be worse? Yes. It will certainly be different.
